250+ Hilarious Funny Quotes to Make Him Smile Instantly

Warning: these 250+ funny quotes are certified weapons of mass laughter. Side effects include stomach pain, snorting, crying, and immediate forwarding to his group chat with “meri gf psycho hai.”

From beard burns to PUBG rage, send one and watch him die laughing check more here : 250+ Best Sorry Messages for Him or Her to Copy

250+ Hilarious Funny Quotes to Make Him Smile

Desi Boyfriend Roasts

1. You’re the reason my phone is on 1%—your “5 mins” lasts 5 hours.
2. Your beard is half Taliban, half bald patch—perfect combo.
3. Bro said “I’m outside”—GPS shows him at chai tapri.
4. Your cooking is so bad even Maggi committed suicide.
5. You’re not lazy—you’re on power-saving mode since birth.
6. Your gym selfie vs reality is bigger scam than crypto.
7. You call it “gaming setup”—I call it “why we’re broke AF.”
8. Your dance moves are crime against humanity.
9. You’re the human version of “battery low” notification.
10. Your brain runs on 2G—still buffering.

Flirty Savage Chaos

1. I love you more than free Wi-Fi—still disconnect when you act dumb.
2. You’re hot till you open your mouth.
3. Kiss me if I’m wrong—but dinosaurs still exist, right?
4. You’re my favorite headache—daily dose.
5. I’d fight for you—but not over the last golgappa.
6. You’re cute when you’re quiet—finally peaceful.
7. Love you more than sleep—still choosing sleep.
8. You’re my type: emotionally unavailable.
9. You’re the reason I smile like a creep—and throw my phone.
10. I love you even when you’re hangry—Oscar level acting.

Gamer Boyfriend Hell

1. “One more game” = we now have grandkids.
2. Your K/D better than our communication ratio.
3. You died 69 times—still haven’t noticed I left.
4. Your headset smells worse than your socks—world record.
5. “Baby I’m focused”—on pixels, not our anniversary.
6. You rage quit game but never quit annoying me.
7. Your rank dropped faster than my standards.
8. Your gaming chair has more bond with you than I do.
9. You’re MVP—in game and ignoring me.
10. Your “clutch” moments are the only time you do something right.

Foodie Boyfriend Crimes

1. Diet starts tomorrow—tomorrow never came.
2. You eat biryani like it’s your last meal—every day.
3. Your stomach has trust issues—won’t commit to six-pack.
4. “Just one more plate”—lied like a politician.
5. Your love language is “kha lo beta.”
6. You’re not fat—you’re just easier to see.
7. Your fridge emptier than your promises.
8. You love food more than me—finally competition.
9. Your belly is proof love handles are real.
10. Diet plan: see food, eat it.

Sleepy Boyfriend Disaster

1. You snore like a broken tractor—still my lullaby.
2. “5 more minutes” = woke up in next decade.
3. Your sleep schedule sponsored by “kal kar lunga.”
4. You sleep more than Windows update.
5. Your pillow has seen more action than you.
6. You’re not morning person—you’re mourning person.
7. Alarm snoozed 47 times—national record.
8. You sleep like you’re auditioning for Rip Van Winkle.
9. Your bed is your true soulmate.
10. “I’m awake”—eyes closed, soul ascended.

WhatsApp Seen-Zone King

1. Leaves me on seen faster than Flash.
2. “Typing…” lasts longer than our dates.
3. Replies in 2 sec to COD—2 days to me.
4. Seen game stronger than love game.
5. Online but “busy”—busy ignoring me.
6. Last seen 2 mins ago—still no reply.
7. Replies with “k”—k then bye.
8. WhatsApp status: “battery low”—same as effort.
9. CEO of leaving people on delivered.
10. Reply speed depends on my DP hotness.

Gym Rat vs Reality

1. Gym 7 days—still lifts less than my baggage.
2. “Beast mode” selfie—beast ate all protein.
3. Flexes in mirror—mirror files complaint.
4. Protein shake costs more than our dates.
5. “Cutting phase”—cutting me out.
6. Gym playlist fire—form needs fire brigade.
7. Deadlifts 100kg—can’t lift my mood.
8. Trainer calls you “champ”—I call you “chump.”
9. Bulking = bulk buying excuses.
10. Gym membership older than our relationship—no results.

Desi Mom vs Boyfriend

1. Mom said “padh lo”—you said “ek game.”
2. Mom loves you more than me—competition.
3. Calls my mom “aunty”—she calls you “beta ji” with shade.
4. Mom: “shaadi kab?” You: “rank push.”
5. Mom already chose mangalsutra—you chose PUBG.
6. Mom said “good boy”—I said “good luck.”
7. Brings sweets for mom—none for me.
8. Mom said “beta kha lo”—you finished planet.
9. Future mother-in-law blocked PUBG.
10. Mom said “perfect damaad”—I said “perfect disaster.”

Driving Disaster Boyfriend

1. Driving proof Allah protects fools.
2. Indicates left—turns right into my heart (and pole).
3. Car smells like biryani and regret.
4. “I know shortcut”—welcome to Timbuktu.
5. Parking skills = criminal record.
6. Honks more than talks to me.
7. Reverse gear stronger than commitment.
8. “Baby trust me”—GPS: “rerouting to hell.”
9. Car AC works—brain doesn’t.
10. License printed at darwaza.com.

Birthday Roasts

1. Happy birthday—legal to be this dumb.
2. Another trip around sun—still orbiting my heart rent-free.
3. Cake has more layers than your personality.
4. Not old—vintage disaster.
5. Younger than your playlist—still old.
6. Another year of being my favorite headache.
7. Wrinkles incoming—hide.
8. Aging like milk—fast and smelly.
9. Still not mature enough for me.
10. Another candle—still can’t blow my mind.

Proposal Level Roast

1. Marry me—so I can annoy you legally.
2. Grow old with me—and roast you daily.
3. Be my Wi-Fi? Need you forever.
4. Mom already said yes—your turn.
5. Put a ring on it—now stuck with my jokes.
6. Marry me—your beard deserves better.
7. Proposal: ruin each other’s lives forever.
8. Marry me—legal hoodie theft.
9. Fight with you for 60 years—marry me.
10. Single era ends here—marry me.

Cricket Fanatic Chaos

1. Cheers for Pakistan—still waiting like I wait for texts.
2. Cricket knowledge > romance knowledge.
3. “Match fix hai”—our relationship isn’t.
4. Cries more for Kohli than me.
5. Favorite player changes every IPL—loyalty where?
6. “One over left”—6 hours ago.
7. Jersey collection > couple pics.
8. Calls it passion—I call it obsession.
9. TV remote has more rights during matches.
10. “India jeet gaya”—still lost my attention.

Movie Night Madness

1. Chooses horror—screams louder than heroine.
2. “Action movie”—sleeps in 10 mins.
3. Movie taste = criminal record.
4. Cries in Titanic—sinks my plans.
5. “No spoilers”—spoiled our date.
6. Popcorn throwing > romance skills.
7. Pauses movie to pee—never pauses ignoring me.
8. Quotes SRK—can’t say “I love you” properly.
9. Netflix has more exes than him.
10. “One movie”—now on season 8.

Beard Game Weak

1. Beard loading—since 2018.
2. Calls it stubble—I call it struggle.
3. Beard oil budget > date budget.
4. “Growing for you”—grow up first.
5. More patches than brain.
6. Scratches beard in public—classy.
7. 50% beard, 50% food crumbs.
8. “Beard game strong”—game over.
9. Beard coming with Jesus.
10. Trim it or I will—in your sleep.

Shopping with Him

1. “5 minutes”—5 hours in parking.
2. Carries bags like Olympian—still complains.
3. “Buy whatever”—cries at bill.
4. Bargaining Oscar-worthy—still failed.
5. Waits outside trial room—scrolls reels.
6. “Last shop”—liar since 10 shops.
7. Card declined—ego accepted.
8. “You look good in everything”—finally truth.
9. Shopping = cardio + heart attack.
10. “Sale”—sold his soul.

Phone Addict Boyfriend

1. Phone battery > attention span.
2. “Charging”—emotionally unavailable.
3. Screen time 12 hrs—face time 12 mins.
4. Drops phone on face—still doesn’t drop ego.
5. Phone has more storage than brain.
6. “Low battery”—same as love.
7. Lock screen mom—priorities.
8. Replies faster to mom than me.
9. Phone waterproof—promises aren’t.
10. “Phone kharab hai”—dil bhi.

Exam Season Excuses

1. “Padh raha hun”—playing PUBG.
2. Study table = snack table.
3. “Last night padhunga”—last night slept.
4. Notes in reels comments.
5. “90% aayega”—90% excuses.
6. Calculator > brain usage.
7. “Group study”—group gossip.
8. Exam fear real—effort fake.
9. “Bas ek chapter”—chapter never opened.
10. Result came—mom’s BP too.

Future In-Laws Roast

1. Dad: “beta engineer”—engineer of excuses.
2. Mom: “acha ladka”—aunty blind.
3. Sister calls me bhabhi—you still single.
4. Family loves me—you’re the problem.
5. Dad: “rishta pakka”—you: “rank push.”
6. Mom feeds me > you feed me lies.
7. Family group has me—you don’t reply.
8. Dad trusts me with you—poor judgement.
9. Mom: “ghar ki bahu”—you: “game ki ranking.”
10. Family wants wedding—you want weekend.

Morning Person vs Him

1. Wakes up looking like Bhoot Bangla extra.
2. Morning voice = goat sacrifice.
3. “Good morning”—at 4 PM.
4. Bed hair has fan club.
5. Brushes teeth after breakfast—genius.
6. Morning tea needs sugar—morning needs miracle.
7. “Fresh start”—same messy room.
8. Alarm tone national anthem—still snooze.
9. Wakes up angry—world didn’t end.
10. Morning him = public enemy #1.

Selfie King Disaster

1. Selfie angle criminal—still ugly.
2. 47 selfies—posts worst one.
3. Duck face needs deportation.
4. “Natural pic”—17 filters.
5. Selfie game weak—ego strong.
6. Blocks half face—still not enough.
7. Mirror has PTSD from poses.
8. “Candid”—posed 20 mins.
9. Selfies need warning label.
10. Proof cameras can suffer.

Anniversary Roasts

1. Happy anniversary—still tolerating you.
2. One year of nonsense—medal please.
3. Gift is me not leaving.
4. 365 days of snoring—world record.
5. Still not over your cooking.
6. One year down—50 more to annoy.
7. Mom still loves me more.
8. 12 months of seen-zone—legend.
9. Still waiting for proposal.
10. One year love—zero maturity.

Long-Distance Laughs

1. “Miss you”—still online PUBG.
2. Video call quality < excuses.
3. “Coming soon”—soon left chat.
4. “I’m busy”—busier than you.
5. Distance made heart fonder—mine tired.
6. “Time zone”—effort zone.
7. Good night text = my good morning.
8. Sends voice notes—no proposal.
9. Taught me patience—and blocking.
10. “Wait for me”—I waited, you weighted.

Final Boss Roasts

1. Favorite mistake—still not corrected.
2. Love you more than sleep—still choosing sleep.
3. Reason for trust issues—and laugh issues.
4. Not perfect—perfect for trolling.
5. Roast you forever—marry me?
6. My person—even when persona non grata.
7. Chaos I signed up for—still reading fine print.
8. Love you despite playlist—true love.
9. My endgame—stuck on level 1.
10. My forever—forever loading.

Bike Rider Disaster

1. Your bike silencer louder than your “I love you.”
2. Wheelie king—brain on two wheels.
3. “Baby hold tight”—crashes into feelings.
4. Bike modified—brain not found.
5. Helmet hair > helmet safety.
6. “Race hai”—race to hospital.
7. Bike polish > personality shine.
8. “Stunt karunga”—stunt on my nerves.
9. Bike girlfriend #1—I’m #2.
10. License suspended—common sense too.

Fashion Disaster Boyfriend

1. Socks with sandals—fashion terrorist.
2. Same hoodie since 2019—vintage smell.
3. “I have nothing to wear”—50 same t-shirts.
4. Checks mirror—still leaves house like that.
5. Belt below butt—gravity check failed.
6. Thinks cargo shorts are personality.
7. Shoes dirtier than thoughts.
8. “This is in trend”—trend called, wants image back.
9. Outfit repeats more than his lies.
10. Fashion sense on vacation—permanent.

Reel Addict Boyfriend

1. Makes reels—zero real effort.
2. “Viral hoga”—virus confirmed.
3. Dances better in reels than real life.
4. Trending sound > my voice notes.
5. “Just one reel”—one century later.
6. Filters on face—none on personality.
7. Comments “🔥”—replies to me “k.”
8. Reel views 10k—my texts 0.
9. “Collab karenge”—with who, brain?
10. Reel star—real zero.

Chai Addict Struggles

1. Chai > girlfriend—proven.
2. “Ek cup aur”—cup 9.
3. Chai without adrak = breakup.
4. Tea stall uncle knows his order—I don’t.
5. Chai budget > date budget.
6. “Chai pi le”—solution to everything.
7. Chai stains on shirt—battle scars.
8. Chai colder than his heart—sometimes.
9. Chai > sleep—proven daily.
10. Life motto: chai, cricket, chai.

Traffic Jam Excuses

1. “Traffic hai”—traffic left, he didn’t.
2. “Bas 10 mins”—10 hours.
3. Stuck in traffic—scrolling reels.
4. “Signal kharab”—brain too.
5. Horn > conversation.
6. “Road band hai”—heart too.
7. Traffic police knows him—regular customer.
8. “Google Maps galat”—he’s wrong.
9. Traffic jam = nap time.
10. Reaches after wedding—still blames traffic.

Wallet Empty Excuses

1. “Wallet bhool gaya”—every date.
2. “Card not working”—works on PUBG.
3. “Next time treat”—next life.
4. “Broke till salary”—salary never comes.
5. Google Pay balance: 0.00—same as effort.
6. “Split the bill”—splits my heart.
7. “Cash nahi hai”—love bhi nahi.
8. Treats friends—ghosts my texts.
9. “Birthday pe dunga”—birthday forgotten.
10. Wallet lighter than his promises.

TV Remote King

1. Remote in hand—power in head.
2. Changes channel faster than mood.
3. “Volume up”—my voice down.
4. Watches ads—skips my calls.
5. Remote > girlfriend—proven.
6. “Match dekhna hai”—every day.
7. Remote battery dies—his effort too.
8. Fights for remote—never for me.
9. Remote lost—still finds it before me.
10. Remote his true love—confirmed.

Rainy Day Drama

1. Rains—plans cancelled.
2. “Barish hai”—hides under blanket.
3. Umbrella for bike—not for me.
4. “Roads band”—courage too.
5. Rain sound > my voice notes.
6. “Ghar pe hi rahenge”—forever.
7. Raincoat new—effort old.
8. Puddle jumps—commitment avoids.
9. Rain romantic—only in movies.
10. Rain stops—he still doesn’t come.

Family Function Fiascos

1. Family function—disappears with cousins.
2. “Bas 5 mins”—5 hours with chacha.
3. Eats biryani—forgets I exist.
4. Dances with phuppo—ignores me.
5. “Ghar walon ke saath”—forever.
6. Takes selfies with rishtedar—I’m background.
7. “Khana kha lo”—eats my share too.
8. “Chalo ja rahe hain”—never does.
9. Family loves him—I’m invisible.
10. Function ends—he’s still eating.

Jobless Era Roasts

1. “Job lag jayegi”—since 2020.
2. Resume updated—never sent.
3. “Interview hai”—Netflix marathon.
4. LinkedIn active—life inactive.
5. “Freelance kar raha”—free ka land.
6. “Startup idea”—starts up blanket.
7. “Boss ne cheat kiya”—he cheated effort.
8. Alarm for job—snoozed.
9. “Kal se serious”—kal never comes.
10. Jobless but busy—busy doing nothing.

Wedding Season Excuses

1. Wedding season—wallet in ICU.
2. “Baraat mein jaana”—dances, disappears.
3. “Gift de dunga”—gift of absence.
4. Wears sherwani—still single.
5. “Rishta dekhne ja rahe”—for himself.
6. Eats at wedding—ghosts my texts.
7. “Joota chupai”—hides from responsibility.
8. Wedding playlist > our playlist.
9. “Shaadi mein busy”—busy eating.
10. Wedding ends—he still doesn’t propose.

Forever Loading Love

1. “I love you” loading—since 3 years.
2. Proposal loading—buffering.
3. “Future plan bana rahe”—plan cancelled.
4. Commitment loading—error 404.
5. “Forever together”—forever loading.
6. “Ring dunga”—ringtone changed.
7. “Parents se baat karunga”—never did.
8. “Move in together”—moves in bed.
9. “Baby plan karenge”—baby asleep.
10. Love status: loading… 1% complete.

Why These 350+ Quotes Make Him Die Laughing

(Structure exactly same as before—only numbers updated to 35/350)

Crafting Instant Comedy Bombs

Quotes like “Your beard loading—since 2018” and “One more game = we now have grandkids” are made for instant forwarding to his boys.

Matching All 35 Boyfriend Crimes

Gamer: 3. Foodie: 4. Seen-zone: 6. Jobless: 33. Forever loading: 35.

Timing for Nuclear Damage

Send beard roasts in December. Gaming mid-match. Seen-zone when he ghosts.

Keeping It Pure Desi Savage

“Rank push,” “aunty ji blind,” “rishta pakka”—cultural nukes.

Personalizing the Roast

Add name: “[Name] said ‘5 mins’—5 business days ago.”

Delivery That Destroys

Voice note in villain voice. Reel acting. Cake message. Group chat bomb.

Interaction Context

After fight: flirty savage. Anniversary: 21. Proposal: 11.

Evolving Your Roast Game

Mild → savage → proposal → wedding season monthly.

Handling His Comebacks

Final boss section = no recovery possible.

Avoiding Dead Jokes

Skip “you’re cute.” Use specific crimes.

Teaching Roast Mastery

Seen-zone for daily. Gamer for weekends. Forever loading for long-term damage.

When to Keep It Short

Quick kills: “Your beard has more patches than your brain.”

Bonus Content: 5 Extra Prank Kits

5 Scenarios to Drop These

1. Leaves on Seen: Section 6—“CEO of delivered.”
2. Gaming All Night: Section 3—“We now have grandkids.”
3. Birthday: Section 10—“Cake has more layers than personality.”
4. Anniversary: Section 21—“Gift is me not leaving.”
5. Mom Loves Him More: Section 8—“Mom said perfect damaad—I said disaster.”

5 Ways to Level Up Delivery

1. Voice Notes: Dramatic Bollywood villain tone.
2. Reels: Act out roast—tag him.
3. Fake Screenshots: Edit seen-zone to 7 days.
4. Group Chat: Send in his boys group—legendary status.
5. Cake Message: Write roast on cake—public execution.

5 Roasts to Never Say

1. Mom jokes—never cross aunty ji.
2. Ex comparison—even jokingly = war.
3. Height/weight—unless he started.
4. Income—never funny.
5. Family secrets—keep private.

5 Comeback Saves

1. “Babe it’s joke” + kiss.
2. “But I love you more than biryani.”
3. Cute selfie immediate.
4. Buy food—peace treaty.
5. Proposal roast—he can’t be mad.

5 Tips for Writing Your Own

1. Use his crimes: Late replies, gaming, snoring.
2. Exaggerate: “One game” → “grandkids.”
3. Desi references: Aunty, rishta, biryani.
4. End with love: Roast + “still mine.”
5. Test on friends: If they die—he will.

Conclusion

These 250+ hilarious funny quotes in 35 savage categories are certified boyfriend destroyers—guaranteed to make him laugh, cry, screenshot, and forward with “meri gf pagalo wali hai.” From desi mom burns to forever-loading love, they’re made for every crime scene. Want more ways to roast him till he puts a ring on it? Check our full comedy arsenal.

FAQs

• Q. What if he gets offended?
  Follow with “but you’re my favorite idiot” + biryani.
• Q. Best for gamer boyfriend?
  Section 3—“Your gaming chair has more bond than us.”
• Q. How many at once?
  One savage + one cute = perfect combo.
• Q. Safe for husband?
  Yes—upgrade “babe” to “oye ji” for extra damage.
• Q. Group chat safe?
  Only if you want legendary status—or divorce.